Election News: The Real Palin Story

Sarah Palin, announced just last week as John yippie-kay-aye-mother-f****r McClane McCain's running mate, named her daughter Bristol.  I don't need to know, you don't need to know, no one needs to know anything else.

Bristol?  Bristol FFS!  That's the story right there.  No news outlet is covering it.  Why?  We need to know!  If she doesn't know how the fudge to name a child, how can she be entrusted with any job of power?  If Die Hard Old McCain gets in and he needs a new pacemaker fitted, she'll be in charge.  What if she decides she doesn't like the name 'America' any more, and chooses to rename it 'Bob'?  Then the terrorist win, that's what!

Anyway, back to Bristol...

It could be worse, I mean Bristol isn't that bad compared to other UK towns and cities, at least they didn't call her Slough (the UK's equivalent of Scranton, Penn.  Christ, 'Scranton Palin' would've been the nastiest name ever!  Sounds like something you'd pick up at a filthy hospital.  One way or another, something you wouldn't want to pick up.

Moving on.

There's some cor, blimey cock-er-ney rhyming slang regarding* a pair of bristols.  Another great reason not to name your daughter after the English city!  Had she taken a gap year here (I guess you can rule that out now) she'd have had to lie about her name.  Seriously.  Although that wouldn't have helped her through UK customs (at the airport that is, I don't mean customs as in our legendary surly service, tipping for rubbish service and our ability to wait in a queue to even get service - for however long it takes whilst trying not to show how pissed off we are).

*damn that's a fine pair, I'm gonna see if I can show 'em off here.